Best Funny Whatsapp Status In English, Whatsapp Status

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Funny Whatsapp Status

I’m not avoiding work. I’m just on battery saver mode

 Just saw the most smartest person when i was in front of the mirror 

“I like straight forward people. The lack of drama makes life so much easier.”

 Math : Mental Abuse To Humans

I can’t read lips unless they’re touching mine.

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 I would lose weight, but I hate losing.

“Respect is never making anyone’s shortcomings a target for laughter.”😃

 Time Is Precious. Waste It Wisely.

My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death.

I follow the quote, “Always be true to yourself” because I only lie to others!

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Whatsapp Status Funny

 Lazy Rule : Can’T Reach It. Don’T Need It.

Technology Update 1:
There is a device in the market which converts your Thoughts into Speech. It is called Alcohol.

Hey, I’ll be back in five minutes. If I’m not, just read this message again.

I wish I could mute people in real life.

 Never Give Up On Your Dreams. Keep Sleeping.

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I Will Marry A Girl Who Looks Pretty In Aadhaar Card

My humor is beyond your understanding. Isn’t that funny.

 I don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me.

 Be Strong I Whispered To My Wifi Signal.

Zombies are looking for a brain. Don’t worry. You’re safe.

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Create your visual style. Let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others.

 Dear problems… Please give me some discount… I am your regular customer.

Women May Not Hit Harder. But They Hit Lower.

The problem with some people is that they exist.

My love doesn’t sleep; it keeps on looking for you with its eyes open.

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 Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.

Nobody Texts Faster Than A Pissed Off Female.

Maybe the love of my life got stuck in a condom.

I was going to take over the world this morning, but I overslept.

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Attitude Whatsapp Status

 You can never buy love, but still you have to pay for it.

 You can never buy love, but still you have to pay for it.

With Great Power Comes Great Electricity Bill.

If I can look beautiful in my adhaar card, I bet I am handsome

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.

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I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention!

 Dear Karma, I Have A List Of People You Missed.

My study schedule: Study-10 min Rest- 1 Hr

My job is secure. No one else wants it.

Just saw the most smartest person when i was in front of the mirror. 

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Best Whatsapp Status

 I’m not lazy, I prefer the term “selective participation”.

 I Can’T Taste My Lips. Could You Do It For Me ?

The reason why I change my status every day is my GF wants me to do that.

I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.

 I’m not running away from hard work, I’m too lazy to run.

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 If Stress Burned Calories, I’D Be A Supermodel.

Marriage is subject to market risk.

Sleep is my drug… my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police.

 Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother and we should respect her!

 Don’t Make Me Laugh. I’M Trying To Be Mad At You.

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Attitude Quotes

Drink till you become the greatest philosopher of your own world!

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Never give up on your dreams keep sleeping.

 Life Is Short. Smile While You Still Have Teeth.

It’s always fun to look back 5 years old photo of ourselves 

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I would request a last meal of soda and pop rocks so I could die on my own terms.

Shopping is an art. I am an artist. Respect Please.

Be Warned : I’M Bored. This Could Get Dangerous.

I didn’t fall, It was just that the floor needed some cleaning.

I would lose weight, but I hate losing.

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Attitude Quotes for Boys

 I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.

 I Am Brilliant Brunette With Lots Of Blond Moments.

Which exercise machine do I need to impress a girl? The trainer said ATM.

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

 I love my job only when I’m on vacation.

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Interrupt My Sleep & I’Ll Interrupt Your Breathing.

My humor is beyond your understanding. Isn’t that funny

Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.

 I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

 I Will Marry A Girl Who Looks Pretty In Aadhaar Card.

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Attitude Status

If the brain is powerful why doesn’t everyone use it?

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

 As Usual, There Is A Great Woman Behind Every Idiot.

Most of the fruits I know now are just because of the shampoo I use.

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I wish I could mute people in real life.

 Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

There’S Always A Person That You Hate For No Reason.

I shampoo can be rich looking why can’t we.

I would call my fashion style “clothes that still fit.”

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Attitude Status in English

You can either be right, or you can be the husband.

 Life Is Full Of Questions. Idiots Are Full Of Answers.

I love my Haters, they make me Famous.

You’re so lucky that I’m terrified of prison.

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

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 My Boss Told Me To Have A Good Day….So I Went Home.

All my life I thought the air was free… until I bought a bag of chips.

Of course I talk to myself! Sometimes I need expert advice.

Women’s apology: I’m sorry, but it was your fault.

When Life Gives You Lemons, Squirt Someone In The Eye.

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Funny Whatsapp Status

I didn’t change, I just grew up. You should try it once.

I’m so tired, my tired is tired.

Yes of course I am athletic… I surf the Internet every day.

 Kiss Me If I’M Wrong But Dinosaurs Still Exist Right ?

I love buying new things but I hate spending money.

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Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test.

 Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up 

I don’t have an attitude problem, I just have a personality that you can’t handle.

 I’ Not Hungry. But I Am Bored. Therefore, I Shall Eat.

I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.

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Funny Whatsapp Status

 I want someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.

 We all are born to die, don’t feel more special than me.

 Marriage Is A Workshop Where Husband Works & Wife Shops.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.

The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.

I hate math, but I love counting money.

If You Tickle Me, I’M Not Responsible For Your Injuries.

Dear problems… Please give me some discount… I am your regular customer.

Talking to myself because I am my own consultant.

I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

Best Funny Whatsapp Status

 Please God If You Can’T Make Me Slim. Make My Friends Fat.

God is really creative, I mean… just look at me.

 Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

If you are BAD then I am your DAD.

 My Mom Said ” Follow Your Dreams “, So I Went Back To Bed.

I’m naturally funny because my whole life is a joke.

 I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

With great girlfriend comes great expenses.

Q Quite Man Is A Thinking Man. A Quite Woman Is Usually Mad.

won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.

Attitude Status

 I’m not crazy I prefer the term mentally hilarious.

Please be patient because the toilet can handle only 1 a$$ hole at a time.

 The Four Words A Girl Most Wants To Hear. I Bought You Food.

Never give up on your dreams keep sleeping.

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